Discovering Myself

These are the 10 essentials of gay dating.  I don’t go for the stereotypical shit…

1. Attractive:  This is very subjective, if you don’t find the other person attractive, don’t waste your time.  It must be a mutual thing.  You can still be friends with people you aren’t attracted to, so don’t discount them as a friend, but be clear that you don’t find them attractive in a sexual way early on.
2. Respect:  You need to have respect for the person and they should also respect you in the same way.  This could be as little as helping clean up after dinner to something more important like jokes told in the company of friends.
3. Go Dutch:  You should never pay for the other person to start off.  You should both be able to pay for yourselves and be comfortable in your own lives.  It seems to be the trend in the gay community for one person to pick up the tab, I’ve fallen victim to this too many times.
4. Trust:  This one is built over time, but you should have trust that you will adhere to whatever boundaries you decide the dating will fall into.  I, for instance, believe in a monogamous relationship.  I don’t want anything coming into my house or body that I don’t know.  That includes diseases.
5. Boundaries:  Again, you must both set the boundaries of the relationship.  What you both expect to get and to receive.  This might seem tough to do when you start dating, but it needs to be dealt with early.
6. Location:  You should not mind traveling between the two places of dwelling.  If it’s not feasible it needs to be discussed.  Long distance relationships are hard and humans just aren’t built for those.
7. Communication:  You should both be able to communicate effectively with each other.  This is VERY important in any relationship.  Effectively communicating needs and wants are essential to a healthy life.
8. Shared Ideals:  You should share some of the same ideals.  Life, family, love, and the like.
9. Hobbies:  This is not essential, but it helps with conversation and things to do.  It’s nice to share some of the same hobbies, but you can also develop these along the way.  Essentially, you should like doing things together, regardless of what it is.
10. Friendship:  Try to develop a friendship before you get to the more meaningful parts of a relationship.  You should want to hang out with this person more than your other friends.  If not, then it probably won’t last.