Discovering Myself

This guy Jeff friended me out of the blue on MySpace and i watched one of his videos and it was pretty good.

I am so embarassed about what happened on Friday night. I know it’s because I hadn’t dealt with what happened the Friday before. Just one little thing set me off and then I got so upset when my boyfriend went to make a salad instead of sitting and talking with me. It was so stupid, but I got so upset with all this stuff that I didn’t deal with and told him to leave. I did it. It’s my fault, he lefts after a huge fight.

I hope he wants to work it out and see how it goes. Maybe we should have lived apart a little bit before we moved in. I love him to death, but he does some unsafe things and I worry. It’s in my nature to worry about the people that I love.

So what do I do? Currently I lay on the couch like a miserable thing and cry right now. I only have 2 friends right now in the city. My other one is out of the country with his boyfriend. I hope we can hang out when he gets back in town. I actually just met Ben and then him and his bf left the country! I guess that’s pretty funny.

I met a couple of folks at outright bookshop. They seem really cool. Again, one of them is on vacation this week.

I just want love and affection, I want to form some lasting friendships in this city. I should have done that a long time ago. I’ve realised that while I do like to go out and do stuff, mostly play games and go on trips, I am a homebody. I like being at home with the one I love. I know there are people like that out there.

I don’t mind being with someone who isn’t. I do like to go out, but I enjoy curling up under the blankets and watching a storm with them or a movie or playing a game.

I am also into computers, so I do that all the time. It could probably be annoying. Anyway, I know I’m a great person. I know Stephen is too, he’s just figuring things out right now. I would hate to see him fall back into where he was before we started dating. It hurts to love someone and live with them for over a year and then have all that stuff happen.

I hope it works out.